The Ethical Bribe Why You Should Appeal to a Person's Nobler Side

Why do people sometimes act against their own selfish interests to do the right thing? Most of us like to think we’re principled and fair, even when a cheaper or easier option is available. This psychological reality is the basis for appealing to nobler motives, a leadership framework that transforms how we influence others by speaking to their best selves.

Nearly everyone you meet has a high regard for their own character and wants to feel unselfish in their own eyes. While a person usually has a secret, practical reason for their actions, they also have a reason that sounds good to the public. You'll find that people are more likely to cooperate when you ignore the selfish motive and highlight the honorable one instead.

Why Everyone Has Two Reasons for Acting

In his classic book How to Win Friends and Influence People, Dale Carnegie cites J. Pierpont Morgan’s observation that people have two reasons for doing anything: a real one and one that sounds good. You don't need to point out the real, often selfish reason to them. They already know it.

Instead, you should focus on the motive that makes them feel like a person of integrity. Research cited in Carnegie's work suggests that about 85 percent of financial success in business is due to skill in human engineering rather than technical knowledge alone. This means the ability to touch a person’s heart is often more profitable than a logical argument about the bottom line.

How to Use Persuasion Ethics to Change Minds

Appealing to nobler motives isn't about lying; it's about giving the other person a reputation to live up to. When a tenant told a landlord he was breaking his lease four months early, the landlord didn't threaten him with a lawsuit. Instead, he told the tenant he believed he was a man of his word who would honor his contract.

By treating the tenant as an honorable man, the landlord put the tenant's pride on the line. The tenant eventually stayed because he didn't want to prove the landlord’s high opinion of him wrong. This strategy works because people generally try to live up to the expectations you set for them.

The Power of Assuming the Best in Others

When you assume someone is a "chiseler" or a liar, they'll likely act like one. However, if you assume they’re sincere, honest, and fair, they often feel a psychological need to prove you right. James L. Thomas, a credit manager, found that five out of six customers with uncollectible bills paid in full when he told them he trusted their sense of fairness.

He stopped acting like a bill collector and started acting like a friend who believed in their integrity. He let the customers adjust their own bills, and most of them gave the company the best of the deal. They weren't just paying a debt; they were protecting their status as honest people.

Motivating Employees by Honoring Their Character

Leaders often struggle to get results by using authority, but inspiring others through their values is more effective. John D. Rockefeller, Jr. once wanted to stop photographers from taking pictures of his children. He didn't tell them he didn't want the publicity; he appealed to their desire to protect children from harm.

He told the photographers, "You know how it is, boys. You've got children yourselves." This shifted the focus from a rich man’s demands to the photographers' own roles as protective fathers. They stopped the photos because they wanted to see themselves as good men who wouldn't hurt a child.

Examples of Noble Appeals in History

Lord Northcliffe once found a newspaper using a photo of him that he despised. He didn't tell the editor he looked bad in the picture. He wrote a letter saying, "Please do not publish that picture of me any more. My mother doesn't like it."

This appeal to the love of motherhood was a motive the editor couldn't argue with. It turned a personal preference into a universal value. The editor complied because he didn't want to be the man who offended someone’s mother.

Cyrus H. K. Curtis used a similar tactic to hire Louisa May Alcott when he couldn't afford her standard fees. He offered to send a check to her favorite charity instead of to her directly. She wrote for him because the act made her feel like a philanthropist rather than just an employee.

Where to Start This Week

1. Identify a conflict where someone is failing to meet an obligation or acting selfishly. Stop yourself from pointing out their failure or using threats to get your way.

2. Determine a noble motive the other person likely values, such as their reputation for fairness, their honesty, or their role as a provider. State clearly that you believe they are the kind of person who honors these values.

3. Leave the final decision in their hands, telling them you have full confidence they will do the honorable thing. Give them the space to prove that your high opinion of them is justified.

Where This Logic Might Fail

Critics often argue that appealing to nobler motives is too idealistic for a cutthroat business environment. They suggest that some people are purely driven by greed and will take advantage of any perceived weakness or trust. This is a fair point, as no single strategy works on 100 percent of the population at all times.

However, Carnegie argues that even the most difficult people will usually react favorably if you make them feel you consider them honest and upright. If you treat everyone like a thief, you ensure you'll only deal with thieves. While it may feel risky, the potential for building long-term loyalty far outweighs the occasional loss to a dishonest person.

Trusting a person’s integrity often forces them to prove you right. This approach of appealing to nobler motives relies on the fact that most people want to feel they are acting out of a sense of duty or honor. Ask a late-paying client to settle their bill based on their own reputation for fairness.