A Christmas Mistake Taught Me a Powerful Marketing Lesson
It all started with a simple Christmas gift mix-up, but it taught me one of the most valuable lessons I’ve ever learned about human psychology—a lesson that’s essential for anyone looking to sell a product or .
“No, Uncle Steven! It’s mine!” my niece cried, her eyes welling up with tears. I had just asked her to hand back the present I’d given her moments before. In my haste to wrap gifts for the whole family, I had forgotten to write names on the tags. As a result, my three-year-old niece was now clutching a Buzz Lightyear toy, a gift intended for her brother, who was a massive fan.
Meanwhile, my nephew was about to open a box containing an Elsa doll, his sister’s favorite character. The room went quiet as I tried to explain my mistake. “Honey, there’s been a little mix-up,” I stammered. “Buzz is actually for your brother!” She just hugged the toy tighter. The determination in her eyes was unshakable. Seeing the drama unfold, my nephew paused his unwrapping to watch. I gave up. “Okay, you can keep it.” Arguing with a tearful toddler wasn't worth it.
To my surprise, my nephew, now holding his new Elsa doll, didn't complain or try to swap. He held it with the same affection his sister had for Buzz Lightyear. They were both happy with what they had, even though I knew that in a toy store, they would have picked the other toy. That chaotic morning was my first real-world encounter with a powerful cognitive bias known as the “endowment effect.”
The Power of Perceived Ownership
The endowment effect is the simple idea that we place a higher value on things just because we own them. It doesn't matter what the item’s objective worth is; once it's "ours," it becomes more special. We get more attached to what we possess than to identical items we don't. This isn’t just a cute quirk of human nature; it’s a cornerstone that smart brands use all the time.
Apple is a master of this. Walk into any Apple Store, and you’ll notice it’s designed as an interactive playground, not a sales floor. Every product is on, connected to the internet, and ready to be used. The screens are even tilted at a specific angle to invite you to touch them. Staff are trained not to pressure customers into buying, which is why they don’t work on commission. You can stay and play for as long as you like. This entire setup is a calculated part of their .
When an employee helps you, they guide you to find the solution yourself, rarely touching your device without permission. Apple is using a one-two psychological punch: the mere exposure effect (the more you’re around something, the more you like it) and the endowment effect. One makes you the product, and the other makes you it more. By creating an "ownership experience," Apple makes a far more compelling case than any hard sell could.
It’s Not Just a Theory, It’s a Fact
This principle is so effective that back in 2003, the Illinois state attorney general’s office actually warned holiday shoppers about the danger of holding products as if they already owned them. It sounds strange, but three decades of research back it up.
A 2009 University of Wisconsin study asked students to evaluate a Slinky and a mug. The groups that were allowed to touch the items valued them more highly than the groups that couldn't. Incredibly, even just ownership had the same effect. Further research confirms Apple’s strategy of unlimited playtime: the longer a customer interacts with a product, the more willing they are to buy it. This insight is gold for any .
Build-A-Bear has built its entire company around this. They don't have "stores"; they have "workshops." Children are involved in every step of creating their new friend. Signs hanging above the bears say things like "Hug me" and "Choose me," encouraging that hands-on connection that builds a sense of ownership long before checkout.
In another classic study from 1984, researchers gave one group of people lottery tickets and another group two dollars. When later offered the chance to swap, very few were willing to trade what they were originally given. Dan Ariely and Ziv Carmon saw this play out in real life at Duke University, where demand for basketball tickets far exceeds supply. The university uses a lottery to distribute tickets for big games.
During the March Madness tournament, they surveyed students who had entered the lottery. Those who didn't win a ticket said they'd be willing to pay, on average, $175 for one. But the students who won a ticket? They wouldn't sell theirs for less than $2,400. Simply possessing the ticket made it seem 14 times more valuable.
Why We’re So Possessive
This instinct isn’t new; it can be traced back thousands of years and is even seen in our primate relatives. In 2004, economists ran an experiment with chimpanzees using peanut butter in a tube and frozen fruit juice popsicles. When given a choice, most chimps preferred the peanut butter. Unsurprisingly, when given the peanut butter first, 79% refused to trade it for a popsicle. But here's the twist: when given the popsicle first, 58% refused to trade it for the peanut butter they otherwise preferred.
The conclusion is that the endowment effect likely evolved early in our history. For our ancestors, trading was risky. Without contracts or laws, there was no guarantee the other party would be fair. To compensate for the risk of getting a bad deal, they instinctively overvalued what they already had and undervalued what they didn't.
Let Them Try, and They Will Buy
For anyone selling something—whether you’re a global brand or running a small —the lesson is clear: getting your product into a customer’s hands is one of the most powerful tools you have. A can be built on this principle.
Instead of just telling people how great your product or service is, let them experience it. Let them touch it, test drive it, or try it out. Take a page from Apple’s book. If you do, you might find that, just like my niece with her Buzz Lightyear, they won’t want to give it back. Through the lens of ownership, the ordinary becomes extraordinary.
